So I Said And She Said
"My chiffon frock," said man in dock
"Was confiscated by the the bobbies
And now they want my taffeta gown
Can a man not have ANY hobbies?"
"All during the war, I hid in a drawer,"
Said the man from Tennessee
"Then they mixed me up with someone else
And I got a really beautiful VC."
Barnaby Rudge was eating fudge
Poor Nell was fast asleep.
In rushed Fagin like the dickens
And tossed Nell in a Uriah Heap.
"See my big toe," said Uncle Joe
"I cut it off for fun
Watch when I put it on the floor
See how fast that toe can run."
"Ah holy God!" said man with hod
"I'm fed up climbing ladders."
So he trained to be a physician
Now he sews up holes in bladders.
"KNICKERS! KNICKERS! KNICKERS!"
Said the wee man with a barrow.
It's hard to know which pair to wear
When climbing up Killy-man-jarrow.
"Send for marines!" yelled two baked beans
"We're much too young to die!"
But bangers formed a firing squad
Crispy bacon smiled, so sly.
"When shooting grouse," said well off mouse,
"One must wear harris tweeds."
"That's such a lie," said wee fruit fly
But he has special needs.
Thirsty trout was drinking stout
Wearing open shirt, no tie
But when trout went to have a pee
Someone hooked him with a-fly.
Bubble gum, stuck to the bum
Of great big Nellie Stubbles
People scratch their head and say
"How does she blow those bubbles?"
"Better not to know," said little Joe
As he called for coke and rum.
And Nellie Stubbles, still blew bubbles
With chewing gum, stuck to bum.
And on that bombshell, it's back to the Gerry Anderson