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Mr Sandman
           
In the midst of a sandy desert
Sat a man from Derrylin
He'd been thrown out of a Ryanair jet
For making too much din.
           
He sat there midst the sand dunes
And burped from too much stout
"I know how I got here," he said
"But how do I GET OUT?"
            
His name was Charlie Wombat
Well used to flapping his gub
A black, black sheep from Derrylin
Who was banned from every pub.
         
There was sand in Charlie's eyes and nose
And sand in Charlie's hair
And a cavity search would confirm, I'm sure
There was sand in his derriere.
               
Poor Charlie started walking
He was heading towards the sun
By the time he'd walked, say 50 yards
Flip-flops he had just one.
 
Poor Charlie sat down in the sand
And pondered on his fate
He was supposed to land in Spain tonight
But it looked like he'd be late.
       
Then Charlie's gaze, saw through the haze
An Arab on a big black stallion
The Arab said, "Hey, my name is Ali
And my big horse is called-Scallion."
             
"I need a man," the Arab did say
"To work in my har-eem
You'll have to pass a medical
But a nice boy you do seem."
                        
"Jump up behind," said Ali
"And I will take you there.
Hi-Ho Scallion," Ali yelled
And the big horse pawed the air.
       
"See that big tent?" said Ali
Just go over and sign in."
"I'm Charlie Wombat," Charlie yelled
"And I come from Derrylin."
      
What happened next, I will not say
But the outcome was severe.
Poor Charlie he was bound and gagged
So no scream could you hear.
   
Charlie Wombat is a eunuch now
His contract makes that clear.
You have to be cut out to be a eunuch
The concubines call him, Charlie dear.
                          
There's many a girl in Derrylin
Well, it's what I'm led to gather
Who will jump with glee and tee-hee-hee
Now that Charlie can't--how's your father.
                    
Poor Charlie longs to go back home
Go back home to Derrylin
But Charlie don't have the cajones
So his chances look quite slim.
         
Something else you have to take into
consideration when you fly by
RYANAIR!

02/09/09

 

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