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40 MULES AND AN ACRE
           
Duck with gun out having fun
Shooting free range crickets
Crickets cry, "Hey, it's not fair
You know we've all got rickets!"
        
Red eyed mice, out shooting dice
Playing for big money
Winner buy breast augmentation
For his rodent honey.
      
Watch out John, here comes the dawn
Don't look John, turn your back
Stick small moles, in lug holes
For soon dawn's going to-crack!
           
Hippy geese say, " Hey man, peace."
Put flowers in their hair
Along comes beaver, with big cleaver
And cuts off their underwear.
            
The trouble is, to make beer fizz
You've got to shake the bottle
And if your name is, Jonathan Ross
You could end up saying-gottle!
                  
See my simmet? It's the limit
It comes down to my knees
But it rides up under my oxters
Which makes my Jacob's freeze.
                   
Over in France,they make small pants
That're only sold to vicars
If I had a dollar and a dog collar
I'd buy some holy knickers.
         
A hamster neat, preformed some feat
He climbed mount Everest
They gave him a six pack, then took it back
Because he failed a drug test.
              
Silly old moo, went, boo-who-who
When milkmaid touched its teat
Milkmaid's now on sex offenders' list
And living on the street!
     
The Gerry show, as you well know
Is made up off the cuff
Gerry makes funnies, for lots of moneys
And Sean provides old guff.
     
Soon another Gerry in the chair
Bigger Gerry with silvery hair
When girls hear him, they swoon and sigh
Thinking of his mighty-thigh!
  
Oh the wind did blow, the sea did heave
Mr Coyle did puke, like Sea Sick Steve
Gerry climbed the rigging, at early dawn
Yes, the little sailor's, gone, gone, gone!
 
"And with that, we rejoin radio 4, where a man is giving a lecture on the importance of poundies and scallions."
THIS PROGRAMME WILL HAVE SUBTITLES FOR THOSE OF YOU WITH JUST ONE KNEE.
And remember--It's OUR BBC!!!.

17/07/09

 

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